Boredom - Why Is It Important and Needed?

As one of the online sources tells us, boredom is a negative emotional state. It is a feeling of inner emptiness, which may be caused by the lack of changes in the environment, no stimuli, but also by disease. It is a state of indifference and lack of interest. A variation of boredom is frustration, stress, which is a kind of discomfort. Almost all of us get bored from time to time. When a child is bored, the parent usually hears the words "I have nothing to do ...". How is it with boredom? What is childhood boredom and how to respond to it?

Many adults believe that today's children should not be bored. After all, they have so many interesting toys, different activities to choose from. Usually some of us say "it's impossible, you make it up, see how many toys you have, play with any of them". Added to this is a slightly irritated tone of voice. Others perceive the child's message as a complaint and want to remedy it immediately in order to best fulfill their parental role. Are these fears and thoughts right?

I want to hug you

I encourage you to take your child on your lap, hug them and talk next time they say they are bored. Often it is not about seeking activity, but rather about the need for attention or closeness. Usually, after 5-10 minutes of cuddling and being satisfied with the contact with the parent, the child himself comes up with an idea of ‹‹what he could do or encouraged by the parent to help him in everyday activities at home.

The words "I'm bored" can mean: I need you, look at me, I want to be close to you.

When we are bored, we usually feel a kind of void that we want to fill as quickly as possible. It may be that this void is not due to a lack of stimulation at all, but a general lack of contact with loved ones. Therefore, the more the parent tries to fill this void with new stimuli, the more he deepens it. Each time the child is briefly interested in the activity suggested by the parent, then again announces that he is bored. So the next time your child says "I'm bored", hug them tightly, kiss them, talk about how sometimes we get bored and that it's okay. Reassure you that you love them and that they are most important to you in the world. A child saturated with contact with the parent will feel a secure bond, which is the basis of joy, initiative, creativity and life energy.

Boredom is great!

Jesper Juul a Danish author writes in his numerous books that in today's world of children there is too much presence of adults, that "there is no adult-free space for them". The so-called The helicopter parent ruthlessly controls his children, their time and the way they spend it. It provides the child with a variety of entertainment enrolls for extracurricular activities, organizes children's events only with the participation of children with the so-called "Good families". These children have no chance to wake up or play according to their own rules. Their graphics are so tight that there is no time for spontaneous fun. Even if they watch a fairy tale or play a game on a computer, it is only educational. While traveling with mom in the car, they listen to audiobooks of her choice. It does not require any creativity, innovation or ingenuity from children. Everything is ready, one would like to say "served on a tray". You don't have to invent anything, think about anything.

Meanwhile, the child needs to wander aimlessly around the apartment, look at the sky, sit in reflection. Because it is thanks to boredom that he has a chance to calm down, calm down, breathe and think about what he wants, what does he want? Boredom is a time for dreams, for creativity, for inventing and implementing even the most "crazy" children's ideas. This "doing nothing" is important for a child's development. A child psychologist, says that parents should allow their children to be bored, because it affects their later adult life. Boredom teaches you how to feel good about yourself and to like yourself and your company. This state should not be confused with loneliness. If we haven't learned in childhood that it's okay to spend time alone with ourselves, then in adulthood we may be exposed to the so-called chronic boredom, and this is a condition that is quite dangerous for our life and health. This is because adults with chronic boredom are more likely to engage in risky behavior.

Why is boredom needed?

1. It gives the child the opportunity to spend their free time in the way they want - it is one of the elements of building a human personality.
2. It provides the child with the opportunity to decide about himself and look for what interests them.
3. It allows you to look for a way of spending time that will be pleasant for the child.
4. It teaches how to independently plan time - children who cannot do it become cranky, demand constant attention, and cannot be independent.

Must read: How to help your child tame his emotions

 A way to deal with boredom - make a happy list

The next time your child tells you that he is bored, sit next to him with a pen and paper on which to write down any activities that he or she may enjoy. Make sure this child writes down most of the ideas, but you can add a little extra.

What could be on such a list?

• Skipping on a skipping rope.
• Watering flowers in the garden, at home.
• Jumping on trampoline.
• Inviting a friend home / talking to a friend (by phone or on the messenger as an alternative during quarantine).
• Family cooking, baking cakes.
• Putting the puzzle together.
• He plays soccer with his dad.
• A family evening of board games.
• Home experiments and experiments.
• Book reading.
• Build a brick castle.
• Drawing / painting.
• Inventing your own board game.
• Create a map to the treasure hidden in the house.
• Directing a home theater.

The list depends on the creative creativity of the child. You can update it with new ideas from time to time. The next time your child tells you that he or she is bored, ask them to use the pleasure list provided.

The causes of boredom - how to deal with them?

Boredom masking the need for rest, resulting from overstimulation, excess stimuli and stress. It may be helpful to observe your baby and what is happening immediately before and after stimulation. Let's pay attention to what kind of stimuli especially exploit the child's nervous system. It is also worth taking care of: regular sleep, limiting the use of electronic devices after 8 p.m., eliminating loud music, airing the room, moving in the fresh air.

Boredom concealing the need for genuine contact. It is worth observing your contact with the child. How close and careful is he? Active listening to the child, giving him / her time and attention with all of yourself - this is a remedial measure.

Boredom due to a lack of decision-making. Let your child practice making independent decisions and exploring their own abilities. Enable him to look for activities and activities on his own, do not provide the child with constant entertainment.

Like many things, boredom should accompany us in our lives in appropriate amounts. In excess, it can negatively affect the well-being and mental well-being of our child. It turns out that when we are bored our brain releases less dopamine (the happiness hormone), which also lowers our mood. The child should be watched so as not to confuse ordinary boredom with depression, so that "our children's lives do not become a flat plain devoid of events"

Although boredom does not have good associations, such as in the saying "die of boredom", this state of certain discomfort associated with inactivity can be beneficial for our overstimulated children. Let's look at boredom as a time of rest, calming an excited nervous system. It allows us to strengthen the child's awareness, see the details, and also look for answers to the question "what can I do not to get bored, what attractions can I provide myself". Therefore, let's not take boredom from children, they just need it.