People who lie constantly hurt. You keep wondering if what they say is true. Let’s find out how you can deal with them.
People who keep lying. One day a friend told me about someone he knew with a deeply ingrained habit of lying. He had only just discovered this fact, but it seems that this person has lied for a long time and caused a lot of suffering to those around him. Therefore, in today’s article, we will discuss the issue of people who keep lying.
In this particular case, the person lied about important things, such as claiming that he had a degree when he didn’t. The man also lied in trifles, for example saying that he met someone when he didn’t and that he got a gift when he bought it himself.
In fact, people who lie constantly are often lonely. This is because sooner or later those around them tend to discover their behavior and walk away with a mix of emotions dominated by sadness and anger. They could even try to change these people, but failed.
Why do some keep lying?
Each choice has a motivation, which translates into a so-called motivational orientation. This also applies to the lying process, whether the lie is big or small. For example, in the case of a little lie, the motivation may seem irrelevant. Nevertheless, the liar still understands that he is gaining. The reward may be avoiding a reprimand, improving your image or not revealing a surprise. However, there is always some profit.
If, however, the interest faded, the addiction would likely fade away as well. I’m saying this probably because for some people the habit of lying is so natural that it becomes almost automatic. In fact, their decision to lie probably no longer passes through the consciousness circuits in the brain. For them, any option invented may be a reality. In fact, it is as if fact and fiction are one and the same.
Are their lies believed?
Notorious liars do not believe in their inventions. They know that what they claim to have happened didn’t really happen. However, they will often act as if what they claim is true, even in situations where there is no need to.
Imagine for a moment a man named Peter. He feels a bit sensitive today and in order to get his partner’s attention he decides to say that he feels unwell and that he has a headache. In fact, he spends his entire breakfast enacting his little script. Then his partner leaves for work. However, she continues her acting, although there is no such need. For example, he takes his temperature and hardly eats.
The regular liar learns early that if he wants to reduce the cognitive wear and tear caused by lying, it is best to always act as if it were the truth. Therefore, in some cases, it might seem that they actually believe their own lies.
How to help people who are constantly lying
Here are some important points:
- Do not confront them with the truth in anger or at a distance. Because they will most likely deny or avoid the conversation. They may even accuse you of paranoia.
- Try to visit a specialist. It is extremely complicated to “uninstall” a behavior pattern that someone has followed for years. Consequently, you cannot do it yourself any more than you are operating on a person with appendicitis.
- Don’t get tired in a one-man mission as you will likely make a mistake or even cause more damage. Remember, if you want to help, the main goal is to go to a specialist.
- We all lie. However, it is often difficult to recognize a person who does this all the time. This is because in addition to learning to behave lying, they’ve likely mastered avoidance behavior as well. For example, when they are caught lying, they may say, “I didn’t tell you not to worry” or “I told you that I already did so that you would stop tormenting me.” After all, who hasn’t done it at one point or another? In this sense, be careful not to consider what is normal to be abnormal.
- The notorious liar also suffers. In fact, you can tell him this to try to get him to go to therapy. Explain that the idea is to make the person feel better in the end.
Living with someone who is constantly lying can be costly. In fact, sometimes you have no choice but to trust others to help. The issues of security and trust are paramount here. We hope you find these ideas and strategies helpful if you need them.