What quality should we look for when we need a mental and emotional health specialist. What makes a therapist good? 9 basic qualities that you should look for in your psychologist.
Here are the skills that a good counselor or psychotherapist should have:
- Loves to help others
Therapy is based on building trusting relationships. If the therapist is dissatisfied with the act of helping, he will not be able to predispose clients to be truly open. As with everything, the love of work turns out to be essential here as well.
- Has highly developed listening skills
Close friends, family, and an office colleague may be people who are comfortable talking, giving opinions and advice easily, but they are people telling you what to do.
A good therapist gives neither opinion nor advice. He is there to listen to you with great attention, and then to reflect back to you what you have said, so that you can hear it for yourself.
Well-chosen questions are then asked to help you see a new perspective and draw your own conclusions. Therapists train to listen to things you haven’t said, as well as to see patterns and the way you express yourself.
- Has a tendency to observe
It is characterized by masterful skills for noticing “body language” and your manners. It can help you notice these things in a way that helps you understand yourself better.
- It is easy to talk to
It’s normal for the first few sessions with the therapist to be a little nervous and weird because you’re not sure what to say. But a good therapist will help you feel more comfortable, so soon you will not have to worry about sharing your thoughts. Keep in mind that you talk well with a good therapist, but he doesn’t need to describe things to you (with a few exceptions, of course). After all, you are in therapy, not him.
- It is authentic
A good therapist does not demonstrate perfection or knowledge of all the answers.
This is not only manipulative, but also prevents customers from relaxing. The latter would mean wearing a mask that inevitably falls off and leaves unpleasant experiences. It is even possible to influence the trust issues that are needed to work well.
- It is reliable
It is important to be very clear when the sessions are, how they are going and how things are with the change of time or their cancellation, if necessary. Therapists should make such explanations in a timely manner. These things are usually discussed and agreed upon in the first session.
- Believes in people
It’s hard to believe in someone if you feel they don’t believe in you, treat you as “weak” or “sick.” Instead, a good therapist believes in your value and potential. This is called an “unconditionally positive attitude” and means not criticizing or causing negative emotions about your own personality.
- Creates a healthy environment
Therapy should calm and focus you. This requires your therapist to take the time to make your work environment suitable for both of you. It is not necessary to have the most expensive furniture or to be on the most luxurious street, but it should create a feeling of purity, comfort, honesty and silence in which to hear your thoughts for real.
- Act within appropriate ethical limits
The therapist is a therapist, not a friend, and definitely not “more than a friend.” A good therapist will not ask you to meet outside of sessions, buy any gifts and will not make obscene comments about your appearance or your body. It will leave your communication within acceptable limits.
Good therapists do NOT make racist comments. They protect the privacy of your and do not share with others what you tell them unless forced to do so by law.
Many therapists also attend therapy or have done so in the past to protect themselves from subconscious urges to point you in the right direction. Which they would choose for themselves. Since therapy is an intensive process, it can be said that it is wiser for the therapist to understand what it is like to be on the other side of things. That’s why most people go through what they subject you to.