Friends are among the best in life. And a friend is always a friend. Well, not really. Every friendship level is not always visible on the surface. It is when you end up in crisis in your life that you find out who your real friends are. True and false friends that’s how you recognize them.
Ok, you may have a best friend who is closer to you than your family and who knows all your secrets and who knows you inside and out. And then you probably have a group of friends who are close but not at the core but who are with when you celebrate things and who show up when they need something or when you need something. A good friendship simply.
So, we take the example of your best friend. Should he or she come by just to talk about whether you lost your job or ended up in a really bad situation? Would he or she be there for you and support you whatever happened. If you answer yes, then you have a real friend. A friend to hold tight to.
Most of us feel that we have a fairly wide group of friends but when the party is over and it will instead help each other for real, you will notice who you can call. You can probably be happy if you can count those people on the fingers of one hand and really feel happy that you have them. Because that’s how it is. That small group is your social support.
Your real friends. This is what they look like:
- They do not forget your birthday and make sure to meet you no matter what plans they have made
- You can laugh and cry with them
- You can sit quietly together and feel comfortable with it
- Even if you only meet a few times a year, it feels like you met yesterday when you meet
- They tell the truth to you even if it hurts
- They do not just say what you want to hear to make you happy
- They support you in what you want to do even if they do not always agree
- When you get a compliment, you know it’s from the heart
- They know what makes you happy, what your favorite movie is, what you like to eat and what your favorite color is
- They’re not talking behind your back
- They listen when you are having a hard time and offer a shoulder to cry on
- They know all your weaknesses but would never tell others about them
- They give straightforward advice when you ask for it
- They make you feel safer in the world
But then there are fake friends too and you may not have thought of it more than as a gut feeling when it comes to a certain people in your vicinity but check them out against this list.
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How to recognize fake friends:
- You’ve never felt safe enough with them to tell secrets
- They have never asked about your family and have never shared anything about their own family with you
- You normally hang out with them in a group, never one by one
- They have never seen the real person you are, just the horror you have up in a group
- They forget about your birthday and other important dates
- You feel that they usually only call you when no one else is available
- You treasure and have fun but it’s not with your stomach you laugh
- You have never seen each other cry or been depressed
- You have a hard time being yourself around them
- Silence often becomes embarrassing and you feel that you have to fill the silence with words
- If you do not meet for several months, you will probably forget that they exist
- It feels like your relationship is one-sided and that you are making every effort
- They talk about your insecurities in public and make you feel stupid
- You feel that you agree with them so as not to get into an argument
- It is easy to imagine a life without them
- They do not support you in your goals and plans, perhaps sometimes the opposite