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Is screaming an effective educational method?

Is screaming an effective educational method?
Is screaming an effective educational method?

A scream in our life can be a sign of various emotions, but it always signals the strength of the sensations we are experiencing. It can be an expression of fear, a reaction to a surprising change, an expression of helplessness, anger, pain. However, we most often associate screaming with anger. effective educational method.

What’s the scream?

The role of screaming in a person’s life changes with age. In babies and toddlers, who cannot name their needs, crying and screaming are a communication tool: I’m hungry, I’m cold, I have a wet nappy, I’m in pain, I’m tired. Anyone caring for such a baby quickly learns to distinguish between the signals that the baby gives.

Gradually, crying and screaming give way to other forms of communication (the child points a finger, pulls the guardian’s hand towards the desired object, tries to verbalize his needs), but screaming remains as the final argument for an adult who does not meet the child’s expectations at the moment. Consistency in the parents’ reactions teaches the child that you can express your needs differently and that screaming becomes useless. And yet it remains in a person’s life forever.

Does screaming help?

In adults, screaming signals strong emotions. This does not mean, however, that every adult who has a strong experience will scream. There will be those who, standing on the top of a great mountain, on which they have painstakingly climbed, will remain silent in delight and will enjoy the silence and space, and there will also be those who, raising their hands to the sky, will start shouting. Everyone experiences emotions in their own way and has the right to do so. In the case of experiencing joy, rapture, delight, it is not subject to discussion and evaluation. The same applies to shouting, which is a sign of pain, suffering and fear. The need to shout out your fear (pain, but also love, happiness) is so strong that it makes it understandable to everyone. Even when we shout to warn others of the danger.

However – despite the fact that the observations show very frequent cases of such use – we do not accept screaming, which is an expression of the educational powerlessness of a parent or other guardian. Interestingly, almost every parent (guardian) remembers such moments when he reacted by shouting to the child’s behavior. However, these are probably not the moments you want to recall.

Does screaming hurt?

If a parent, whose role is to show the child how to cope with all that life brings, uses screaming as a means of educating the child, teaching the child behaviors that he or she does not really accept.

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What does a child learn from a screaming parent?

  1. I am powerless – when a parent raises his voice and screams, he enforces the rules of conduct.
  2. Violence is a natural part of life – when a parent screams obedience, he teaches the child to use violence against others.
  3. I do not know how to deal with you – when screaming appears as a substitute for conversation and arguments, the child gradually ceases to perceive the parent as an authority, which will greatly weaken his educational position in younger children, and in the case of a teenager it may cause breaking the bond with the parent.
  1. You are bothering me – when a parent responds by screaming to situations in which the child interferes with their activities, they can gradually build a belief that the child is an obstacle in achieving goals by adults, and this may result in serious emotional problems (low self-esteem, depression, dangerous behavior) .

Shouting gives strength, and the stronger has the right to demand from the weaker – the child begins to imitate the parent in contacts with peers and other adults, treats screaming as a method of subjugating others, and hence it is only a step to violence of a different kind.

A vicious circle is closed: the parent screams to raise, and as a result, frustration grows in the child, low self-esteem is perpetuated, and the belief that he is not loved grows. This pushes them to behave more and more difficult and dangerous – aggression, self-aggression, hostile attitudes towards other people, the inability to build positive relationships with others. It can also result in problems with remembering or learning.

What’s the scream?

Nobody is perfect, so it is difficult to find an ideal among parents. But the point is not not to make mistakes, but to draw conclusions from these mistakes. I know the story of a five-year-old (with a very lively temperament, lively and curious world, engaging in lots of activities that cause headaches for his parents), who was caught building a war fort from flour, groats, sugar and salt mixed with aquarium water on the carpet in his peace. My mother, for whom it was another “attraction” of the day, could not stand it and excused herself with a raised voice. To this the resolute young man replied: “Okay, you shouted at me, now tell me what arguments you have!”

Screaming can be an emotional response. If it occurs rarely, it will not significantly affect your baby’s life. Especially, if in such situations the adult starts a conversation with the child: he will explain his behavior (“I was afraid for your safety.”), He will apologize (“I’m sorry, I think I’m tired today, because you surprise me with your ideas from the morning.”), future (“I would like you to agree on plans with me that require the use of my things, such as food products.”). However, if screaming is becoming an established habit with your baby, it’s time to take action to change that.

It is definitely worth considering why am I screaming? If I find the cause, I can prepare for events that trigger such a strong emotional response in me, I can work on controlling my emotions, and I can also seek support. Change is an ongoing process that requires commitment. But it’s worth it!