If a person is constantly focused exclusively on problems, he sees nothing around but these problems and negativity.
Financial difficulties, “difficult” students, chronic sleep deprivation, lag behind the quarantine program, family problems and more – the life of any teacher is full of stress. And not only a teacher! Almost everyone, regardless of age and activity, always has their own reasons for the experience.
You’ve probably also noticed that some people react differently to the same situation: someone is instantly upset, and someone is just as cheerful, even at worst, seeing new opportunities for themselves. As a result, under equal conditions, one is in a chronic state of depression, and the other is full of vitality.
Have you ever wondered why? Is Positive Thinking an innate talent or a skill that anyone can develop?
Why is it different for some people to see the positive?
Some will say that life is not a rainbow of pink ponies. Of course, every day everyone faces different problems and challenges. However, there are people who focus on the good despite all obstacles! And their life experiences are not always exceptionally happy and cloudless.
Well-known psychotherapist, who once went through war and concentration camps, faced the loss of loved ones and more than once was on the verge of death, said:
Everything can be taken away from a person, except for one thing: the last part of human freedom – the freedom to choose one’s life attitude in any circumstances.
The human brain and psyche are arranged in such a way that everyone’s attention is focused on what corresponds to their expectations and past experiences. The rest is automatically ignored at the subconscious level. According to psychologist, this mechanism is designed to facilitate the filtering and processing of information that comes in unlimited quantities.
So, if a person is constantly focused exclusively on problems, he sees nothing around but his expectations and past experience – continuous problems and negativity.
How to learn to consciously form your own focus of attention?
Seeing the good is not an innate superpower, but a skill that can be consciously acquired. But this requires practice, attention and time. A simple algorithm will also come in handy:
Realize what really makes you happy
Every mentally healthy person has at least a dozen things that are fun, soothing and inspiring. We usually take them for granted as long as they are part of our lives – as opposed to the negative, which is easier to focus on. However, you can consciously relate to what is really pleasing.
- Make a list of 30 pleasures: the sea, delicious coffee, travel, playing the guitar, the smell of fallen leaves.
- Describe 10 daily activities that you enjoy: morning coffee, hot shower, family dinner.
- Describe the 10 neutral things you do every day and try to find something enjoyable in them.
- Before going to bed, mentally thank yourself every day for this day of your life and remember the most pleasant moments for you.
Develop a positive experience
Understanding what brings you joy is the first step in building new neural connections. However, in order to consolidate the effect, appropriate positive experience is needed.
Do you like the smell of fallen leaves? Take a walk in the park or forest and enjoy the aroma! Explore and analyze what pleases you the most. Don’t expect someone to start doing this for you. Take the initiative into your own hands!
Try to see something good for yourself in everything, new opportunities in the bad and the worst
For example, you were suddenly fired. You can immediately drop your hands and start worrying that next month there will be no small but stable income. However, you can treat the situation as a challenge to finally prove yourself and make every effort to find a dream job or start a study that is constantly lacking time.
In any extremely negative, at first glance, situation, be sure to ask yourself:
- How can I further apply the experience?
- What new opportunities have I had?
- How can I use these opportunities to my advantage?
Gain and expand positive experiences
Understanding and realizing what really makes you happier comes with expanding your positive experience.
- Remember that you have long dreamed of trying, but all the time for some reason postponed: skydiving, professional photography? Maybe it’s enough to procrastinate? Time to act!
- Think about what else could make you happy. Try to make your positive experience diverse, different in duration and multimodal (pleasant to the touch, hearing, taste, etc.)
- Observe, analyze, fantasize and experiment! This is the responsibility for one’s own mood and the freedom to create it in spite of external circumstances.
Seeing the good does not mean turning a blind eye to the real course of events. First of all, it is an opportunity to make your own choice, how to behave and react to different situations, as well as consciously form your own emotions. Everything is exclusively in our hands!