How to help a child cope with anger and better behaviour with others

14 effective strategies to help teach your child to express anger safely

Anger is a contagious feeling. People often express regret about their outbursts of anger. Many children do not know how to properly express anger, which entails many psychological problems. Children are usually taught that in any situation you need to keep calm and behave sensibly, but this emotionally exhausts the child, confuses him.

The internal conflict associated with feelings of anger arises from the fact that anger is considered a bad feeling to be ashamed of. If you debunk this myth, it becomes much easier to deal with anger, because in this case it should not be suppressed, but accepted and directed in a constructive direction. And then anger does not exhaust the child, but gives it strength.

In order to teach a child to cope with anger, you need to allow him to feel it, accept it and not worry about it (usually outbursts of anger are not associated with serious mental problems). And only after that you need to look for acceptable ways of expressing your feelings.

To help a child cope with anger, it is important to understand what exactly causes it. Anger is usually a result of fear or sadness, and sometimes it is a reaction to life failures, low self-esteem, anxiety, helplessness (a child's anger often arises from feelings of dependence on parents, etc.) or isolation. It should also be remembered that children recognize the feeling of sadness worse than adults, so they are more likely to feel angry.

Before dealing with aggressiveness and outbursts of anger:

• Learn to distinguish between anger and aggression. Anger rarely involves bad intentions (such as causing physical harm or damaging property). This is a consequence of the frustration to which the child is exposed.
• Don't tell your child that anger is bad. Anger is a completely normal feeling, and a child who experiences it does not necessarily have emotional problems.
• Do not punish the child for aggressiveness. Understand that a child who is experiencing anger needs protection and tries to achieve this through emotions. Help her find a better way to express her feelings, using methods that are understandable to the child.

How a child can cope with anger

By using these strategies, you can prevent or better manage your child's tantrums.

Strategy No. 1. In order for the child to understand the difference between bad and positive behaviour, to develop the most effective model for himself, he needs to point out not only what he does badly, but also good deeds. Therefore, it is important to explain to the child what kind of behaviour you like so that he sees a positive example. Notice and praise her small actions, such as when she hangs a jacket in the hall without prompting or helps set the table.

A person always needs approval, and approval of a child's positive behaviour is the best way to teach him to attract attention through positive actions, and not through the manifestation of negative emotions. If the child's misbehaviour is not harmful, just ignore it. At the same time, it is not necessary to ignore the child himself. After telling her once that she is behaving badly, in the future just ignore her behaviour.

Strategy No.2: Show the child a positive example. At first, the baby learns by watching adults, so by imitating their behaviour, he understands how he should and should not act in certain situations. It is also an effective way to deal with outbursts of negative emotions, as (good) imitation does not increase them.

Strategy No.3: Make sure the child has ways to exercise his physical energy. Children are often full of energy, which can quickly turn into frustration and anger. In such situations, the child should be able to move or exercise, and at school as well.

Strategy No. 4: The environment should not provoke aggressive behaviour of the child. If any activities encourage her to do this, replace them with more positive ones. Take care of a calm environment for the child, do not set too many restrictions and rules for him.

Strategy No. 5: Use touch to soothe your baby. This method is often effective (except in cases where the child is highly sensitive). Approach the baby and ask what he is doing, watch his reaction. This behaviour of yours is effective in cases where you see, for example, that the child is going to break a toy. Ask him to show you the toy. If at this time he is trying to cope with a difficult task, ask him to explain what exactly he does not understand. This will help to deal with feelings of anger, because the child will not feel helpless.

Strategy No. 6: If the baby likes to be touched, express your love to him with hugs - this will help the child cope with negative emotions.

Strategy No.7: Use humour. Adults often use humour to defuse difficult situations with other adults, but rarely use it with children. But children are good at humour: in case of tantrums, it allows the child to save face (at the same time, humour should not be confused with sarcasm and ridicule).

Strategy No. 8: Appeal to the child's empathy by explaining that his outbursts of negative emotions are hurting you. For example, you can say that you can tolerate noise normally, but today you have a headache. Ask her to do something more peaceful.

Strategy No. 9: When you have found out what causes negative emotions in the child, teach the child to recognize specific stimuli. So, it will be easier for her to learn to respond adequately in such situations. Suggest safe ways to express anger.

Strategy No. 10: If necessary, restrain the child physically, but do not judge him. Sometimes children can lose control so much that you need physical intervention. At the same time, do not be rude and do not embarrass the child, let him save face in this situation. Try to explain that you are not punishing her, but doing it so that she does not harm anyone.

Strategy No. 11. Make sure that the child feels valued and able to cope with the circumstances, that he has strengths and goals in life. This will help direct your energy in a constructive direction. Teach her to be optimistic about the future and explain that positive behaviour contributes to positive developments.

Strategy No. 12: Set clear boundaries. This will not only help restrain your behaviour, but also make the situation clear, give a sense of security and confidence.

Strategy No. 13. Remember that rules need to be established in order to calm the child, to teach him to cope with emotions. Parents should not be unfriendly in their attitude towards the baby, use physical methods of coercion.

Strategy No. 14. Teach the child to voice his feelings of anger, using phrases like: "I don't like that you took my toy away," "I don't want to share," and others.

How to teach a child to discipline

Effective discipline should create an atmosphere of calm and confidence, all rules should be clear to the child and develop honesty in him. Your reasoning will be a guide for the child.

Harsh or inappropriate discipline that focuses on personality rather than behaviour is ineffective. You cannot teach a child the right behaviour by showing him the opposite example. First of all, you need to show the baby the difference between positive and bad behaviour. When disciplining a child, you need to treat them with respect in order to teach them to respect themselves and others.

Always communicate with the child as a worthy person with his own unique feelings, needs, values ‹‹and outlook on life. To raise her as a good person, first of all, believe in her.