Establishing a relationship with the student - how to make the first ... second ... seventh step

Sometimes we wonder why some of the teachers are trusted and liked by the students. Why would they do almost anything for one teacher and not engage in an activity that might seem attractive to another? Establishing a relationship with the student.

A few words of theory, or why the student-teacher relationship is important

When looking for an answer to this question, it is worth reading the following text:

œGood relations between the student and the teacher are the basis for achieving the expected learning outcomes. If the student feels that he is accepted, feels safe, and the teacher treats his problems with respect and interest, then an atmosphere is created that allows the full use of the student's potential.

Our brains are naturally oriented towards good relationships and contacts with other people. Everything that we experience in relationships with other people "converts the brain into biological signals that affect the physiology and physical fitness of the body and determine our behavior"  If interpersonal relations are good - that is, I understand others and I am understood - the effectiveness of teaching increases significantly as well as the internal motivation, without which the acquisition of knowledge by a human would not be possible. "

The quoted passage talks about theoretically obvious issues for every teacher. However, is it really? Students in the authority survey, the results of which can be found in the previous article (here), highlight the issues of building relationships and notice their importance in building authority. Describing those teachers whose authority is low, they indicated:

The quoted passage talks about theoretically obvious issues for every teacher. However, is it really? Students in the authority survey, the results of which can be found in the previous article (here), highlight the issues of building relationships and notice their importance in building authority. Describing those teachers whose authority is low, they indicated:

œHe is self-righteous, emotionally unstable, frustrated. Lack of the joy of life and a smile on the face discourages students and not only them "

"He is false, he does not build good relations with students, he is sometimes a gloomy, humiliates the student, he gets drawn into school games of students"

In another study conducted by the authors of the article "The teacher's authority in the perception of students and their parents" 2, the respondents indicated that the second most important trait of an authority teacher was treating students as partners (the first was being a teacher by vocation). Both of the most desirable traits are based on the ability to build relationships with students.

We build a relationship

What actions to take to effectively build authority through good relations with students? It is worth starting the moment the students enter the classroom. If the teacher stands at the door in the classroom (we remember about health and safety - we enter the class first to check if there is any danger), then each student will have to pass him. We do not know if he ate breakfast, if mum yelled at him, if there was a row at night¦ It may turn out that a smile or a few words that express interest will build a positive day for the child's teacher who receives attention. Similarly, you can use the end of the lesson to talk to students. Which? With whomever it is possible to do! Perhaps it is best to start with choosing the one who disturbs us in conducting classes. Establishing a relationship, showing that we care about him, can positively affect his behavior.

A student, like every human being, wants to be noticed, especially when something bad happens in his life. If we teach a given team for a year or two, even with a small number of hours a week, it is relatively easy to see that someone is moody, turned off, and has thoughts elsewhere. You can then ask the student to help us bring notebooks, maps, etc., and on the way say "I think you are sad today?". Perhaps these words will make the student start talking to us. However, if he does not take up the topic, he gets a clear signal: I am important to someone because he sees that it is difficult for me. Such "noticing" the student by the teacher builds a relationship.

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When building a good relationship with students, it is important to pay attention to words, messages and tone of voice. Criticism, pointing out mistakes in a way that hurts, using ridiculous nicknames or nicknames do not build relationships.

For the student, praise will be mobilizing, but the best is "tailor-made" praise. If, after each correct answer in the lesson, students still hear "good", "great", firstly they do not know exactly what they did well and what they are actually great at, and secondly they are treated in the same way as the rest of their classmates. The word praise, used all the time, ceases to fulfill its function. A student who hears from his teacher "I like how you combine the facts" or "you justified your opinion very well" or "you have the knowledge, I bow my head!", "Listen to how Tom came to a good solution - this is the way of thinking! , Firstly he knows what he is doing well, and secondly he hears mobilizing words. Which Teacher will he like more, which will he follow? The one who hurts him with words (messages: "even a five-year-old child knows", "change school", "you are my biggest mistake", "your mother is probably crying for you every day", etc.) or the one who, seeing a human being in a student, supports him with a word?

Admitting a mistake

Students highly value teachers who can admit they are ignorant or wrong. If we make a spelling mistake on the board, make a mistake in the calculations, it is better to say "three pluses for being active for Asia, because it is not enough that she can catch a mistake, but also culturally pay attention to it" than to prove that the student does not have right.

Sense of security

A good relationship with the teacher gives the student a sense of security because he is not afraid to admit ignorance because he knows that he will not be criticized. How many times has the teacher asked the class - "you understand?" And everyone nodded their heads, although they would rather shake them. A sense of security will give students the introduction of the "belt" principle. It means that once in a lesson a student may fail to answer a question without consequences, not to solve a task, etc. The teacher gives the reasons for introducing the rule by saying: œI know you are not robots. We all get distracted sometimes, sometimes we have a bad day, so you can say "belt" once in my lesson. For me, it is a clear signal that you cannot participate in the task at the moment. " Thanks to this, it creates a kind of safety cushion for its students. They do not have to be afraid of temporary distraction, and at the same time know the boundary set by the pedagogue.

Cooperate work

The best way to build relationships is through collaborative activities that allow students to get to know the teacher from different perspectives. Sometimes it is good to consciously allow the roles to reverse and make the learner the guide. Installing an application on your phone, fixing a frozen computer or pointing to the best mascara for curling eyelashes can break the ice.

Teachers who let their students organize a trip or a night out at school on their own will have a great starting point to become an authority figure. The words "allow you to organize" are closely related to the message: "I want you to learn to plan and calculate costs. I believe you can come up with something great. " Sometimes it happens that the tutor is discouraged by his function and can say "You want to go, organize it yourself" or add to it ", they don't pay me for it".

Students feel safe within a clearly defined framework. The teacher should remain "adult" and not become a colleague. Force-shortening the distance and showing "I'm such a good guy" does harm to both the teacher and the students. Marking the border is difficult. Many teachers with a short experience want to immediately become a "buddy" and allow you to break boundaries, without having the authority developed enough to effectively set them. What is worth remembering to build the best possible relationship with students? It is words that build reality! They can hurt, but most of all they can build and shape self-esteem, a positive image of the world. A teacher who sees a student as a partner (not a colleague!) Is honest and fair towards him, will develop authority.