If you notice children playing violent games, during or as a result of which players are beaten or insulted, strict prohibitions (“Don’t play this game!”), Devaluation, “So what are you doing?” 8 tips on what to do if children play violent games.
A child and family psychologist, explains that, as a result, the child will do the same (play violent games or watch violent movies), but in secret. In addition, with a desire to take revenge on adults for the ban.
The consequences can be even worse. After all, the child will get pleasure from it. Then the adrenaline-dopamine “cocktail” can cause an additional surge of aggression.
- What to do if a child plays violent games;
- How to act if violent movies or videos instantly become very popular;
- Which leads to a tendency to childhood cruelty.
WHAT TO DO IF A CHILD PLAYS IN CRUEL GAMES
Recently, for several days in 90 countries, the series “Squid Game” became popular at the same time. The series tells about a group of people who need money and who agree to play children’s games. However, those who lose are killed.
What to do in such cases:
- It is necessary to find out and distinguish whether the game is really dangerous and what is dangerous in the game that children play. Maybe it’s just a game they borrowed from the movie, but without the dangerous consequences.
“Adults often impose meaningless bans because they do not know what to do. First of all, you should calmly ask the children: “What is it?”, “What do you play?”, “What are the rules?”. After all, the games from the movie “Squid Game” are well-known children’s games. Another thing is how the consequences of the game are interpreted in the film: the losers are killed. If children play and they need to beat each other as a result, that’s bad, ”says the psychologist.
- If, after our research, children’s play has really turned out to be cruel, we can apply the rule “everything we can’t forbid can be led.” Yes, we need to give the opportunity to develop games in the direction in which we would like.
Then adults can control what happens: impose their rules, restrictions, attitudes toward losers and winners.
This can be done by teachers at school. In addition, they can add “punishments” and rewards related to training. For example, the loser will write extra independent work. That is, adults should offer children something in return. This way children will realize their passion.
- If adults notice violence, it should be stopped and discussed immediately. Like, a movie is a movie, its art. The reality is different, we don’t want anyone to die, and what you’re playing is dangerous.
- It is necessary to define safety rules.
- You can offer alternative games. For example, show what you played when you were a child.
Instead, you can play Knockout. In such a game the child will realize his aggression, at the same time it is a fairly safe game without consequences. In general, ball games play aggression very well. The ball is a subject that does not deteriorate from aggression, but, on the contrary, improves its qualities: flies, jumps. Table tennis and basketball are also suitable. ”
So if a teacher notices violent games in children, he can share the situation with the physical education teacher and offer to play alternative games with them. Physical education teachers should be familiar with games that can release aggression: they allow you to jump over someone, play ball. That is, it is possible to push in a safe format under adult supervision.
WHAT TO DO IF CRUEL MOVIES IMMEDIATELY BECOME POPULAR
The psychologist explains that it is impossible to protect children from content that instantly becomes popular and is talked about by everyone. One way or another, they will want to “touch” it, otherwise they will feel like white crows.
- Adults should discuss age restrictions with children. Like, you see, there is a sign “16+”, so – this movie can be watched by people over 16 years old.
- However, we have to say, “If you really want to see it, let’s look together.”
This is about cooperation, the opportunity to negotiate with children. Children enjoy watching movies with their parents. However, unfortunately, they very rarely offer them to do it together.
Instead, if you watch a movie or TV series together, there is an opportunity to discuss what it is, why it happened, the actions of the characters and their feelings, motives, moral and ethical moments, why people do it, what are the goals.
The question is for those who put such films in free access, because that’s how they become accessible to children. However, in today’s world it is difficult to build hard limits.
That is, if you see that a film or any other creative product has made a splash in the world, is it cruel, or has other controversial issues, you need to understand that children will definitely be drawn to watch it. Therefore, it is better to anticipate the consequences: watch this movie, game, video or other product with your child.
WHAT DOES CRUELTY LEAD TO AND WHAT DOES IT SAY
The psychologist explains that children will give up violent play if they are less gamble or frightened. But there is no direct correlation between children agreeing to violent games and what happens at home. However, children whose homes are dominated by cruel and violent methods of upbringing are more likely to engage in such games, do not look at the opinion of adults and authority.
In addition, children from families where they are beaten and bullied are more likely to be both victims and aggressors. Yes, games are superimposed on a family situation in which there is already violence.
“The psychotype of a person and his tendency to play more violent games are important here. Of course, this may or may not turn a person into a rapist. Perhaps she is “playing” her need to be cruel.
Instead, much depends on the next steps. Where will this lead? If it is a small child and we approve of violence, for example by beating it back, it can turn into an injury. If we “quench” the violence by trying to offer normal methods of retaliating against aggression, there will probably be nothing wrong with it – we just need to keep it under control,