8 reasons why a child does not want to go to school

help parents and the requirement to do everything perfectly Reason: The need to teach a child to learn in primary school

8 reasons why a child does not want to go to school
8 reasons why a child does not want to go to school

  1. Reason: Conflicts in the family from unfinished homework
  2. Reason: The need to form the correct vision and perception of the learning process
  3. Reason: The child does not know the names of teachers and classmates
  4. Reason: It is difficult for a student to get used to the rhythm of school life
  5. Reason: The child does not know how to properly allocate their time to perform "homework"
  6. Reason: Homework turns into hard labor
  7. Reason: Problems with learning a foreign language, the need to help parents and the requirement to do everything perfectly
  8. Reason: The need to teach a child to learn in primary school

With the arrival of autumn, a new school year began, and with it new challenges for students, their parents, and teachers. Educators have a task to provide their students with all the necessary knowledge provided by the curriculum. Parents, as it turned out, face many more tasks, including not only caring for the child, his mental and physical health, providing basic necessities, clothing, food, a roof over your head, and more. But should parents form in their children the correct perception of the learning process, help with homework, adjust to broken relationships that may arise due to problems with lessons and much more. Quite often such questions concern both parents, and teachers and children. After all, these are the main reasons why a student does not want to attend school.

Reason 1- Family conflicts from unfinished homework

How homework is done

Until a few years ago, students had a homework rule that stated that a child should complete all homework on their own, and if difficulties arose, adults could help. But today, almost the entire school system is designed for parents to have to do almost "homework" with their child.

But here there are certain nuances which complicate mastering by the child of the educational program:

  1. Programs in almost all subjects have changed a lot over the last ten years.
  2. The expected level of erudition of first-graders has changed - most schools are waiting for children who can already read and count.
  3. The foreign language course starts in 1st or 2nd grade, and is designed so that adults can help their children learn it. Although previously a foreign language appeared in the schedule only in the 5th or 6th grade.
  4. In our country, the number of unemployed mothers who are ready to devote all their free time to the child has increased. Even if the baby is a first grader, moms do not allow him to be more independent. Previously, children at this age could get home on their own while their parents were at work and even warm up their lunch.

Such changes have their consequences, because:

Parents have more responsibility for their children's academic performance;

If this situation is permanent, then there is a risk of a broken relationship between parents and children in the future;

The impossibility of the student's independence leads to the devaluation of the child's volitional aspirations, the disappearance of motivation to learn, which causes not only apathy, but also a complete reluctance to learn. The child may refuse to do anything on their own, without constant advice from the mother and sitting around until all the lessons are done.

In the modern school there is a tendency when at parent meetings of first-graders teachers confidently announce that parents now have to study with their children.

For some reason, primary school teachers think that the whole period of primary school only parents are responsible for the quality of knowledge and homework. Earlier, the teacher was given a specific task - to teach, now it is more just to provide certain tasks. But to perform these tasks, as you can predict, it is parents.

You also need to be prepared for the fact that in foreign language classes the teacher explains the material in such a way that students do not always understand it. That is, the child must either have special abilities to learn the language, or involve parents in homework, or engage in additional work with a teacher or tutor.

Thus, the modern school encourages parents to sit and do homework with their child during all four years of primary school. Already for the period of study in grades 5-6, this need disappears, because children at this age are already approaching puberty. But they are already accustomed to the fact that parents are responsible for homework, and students are almost not ready to take such responsibility.

Deterioration of the relationship between parents and children is usually observed in the senior classes, when children reach the age of 14-15 years. The child may still be unable to take responsibility for the "homework", but now he also expresses his dissatisfaction through protest. Usually such children in primary school were excellent, because the tasks for them were performed by moms and dads. In the senior classes, everything falls on the child, who does not have the appropriate knowledge and skills, and they refuse help, so the level of knowledge deteriorates significantly.

The problem with the primary education system is that it imposes a stereotype on itself - that everything done at home must be perfect, that is, not without the help of parents. And if the child also does poorly, then primary school teachers can complain to parents that they missed. Only experienced teachers follow the rule that only through mistakes can you learn something.

Reason 2 - The need to form the correct vision and perception of the learning process

The three most important truths that a child must learn in primary school: responsibility, the ability to diligently perform tasks, as well as the ability to properly understand these tasks and perceive them as their own, not as parents.

To begin with, it is necessary to formulate in children a sense of independence. Unfortunately, in the early stages it can lead to worse results, but over time everything should return to normal. This is most often the case with children who are single in the family.

The child tries to draw his first hooks, imperfect and uneven, and parents immediately begin to criticize: "You don't write like that!", "I didn't take you there!", "What do you write like a chicken with a paw !?" - It is difficult to raise the level of a child's self-esteem with such criteria. But the level of self-affirmation of parents is maximum.

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And at school the teacher criticizes that the child does not manage to write a capital letter "T". It is not the parents who come to the teacher with remarks, but the teacher himself forces the parents to study with their child. Teachers only explain the material during the lesson and transfer the mission of constant supervision of the child to the parents. In addition, such teachers usually expect parents to come and consult and tell "How are they?". The perception of joint performance of tasks is formed, for which both the student and the parents are now responsible. But for some reason later, when in the senior classes such a child is asked what profession he has chosen or has chosen, there will be no unambiguous answer, because the child has not formed the concept of independence and his own opinion. If the parents are constantly rescuing the child in any situation, he will not learn to be independent at all. Such a student will always think that "mom will come up with something anyway", and do not rush to correct the situation on their own.

There are also parents who are afraid that raising a child's sense of independence may turn into a confrontation between the student and the teacher and the system as a whole.

At first there may be a lag in learning, but by the period of 4-5 grades, when the success of pseudo-excellents falls, children who are taking confident steps on the path to independence, begin to make progress. Although it is impossible to put all children under one measure, because there are students who still need help on a regular basis. Such students are usually very inattentive, Behave within the norm. Such children need to be helped only a little more. If a child has at least a slight tendency to self-organization, he needs help in this. It's quite simple: either the child is ready to take responsibility or not. But it is better to create all the necessary conditions for the formation of independence and show the right stereotype of the learning process, which is associated with homework.

Reason3- The child does not know the names of teachers and classmates

Who is who in school

If one teacher teaches several subjects to a first-grader, it is easier for the child to get used to it. If there are several teachers, you need to help the child understand who is who and what to call all these adults. At home, you can even draw each teacher and train your child to name and name the subject he or she teaches.

It is also worth helping the child learn the names of classmates. After all, as long as the first-grader does not know the names of the people around him, he will not be able to feel comfortable.

You should also focus on how well the child remembers new names; you need to help your child with this. It is this task that falls entirely on the shoulders of parents.

Reason 4 - It is difficult for a student to get used to the rhythm of school life

If your family has certain daily habits formed over time, such as waking up at the same time every morning, having breakfast together, and so on, it will be much easier for the child to get used to the new rhythm of life. Skills such as caring for houseplants or pets and regularly cleaning their belongings in the room are also quite successful in formulating the necessary skills. Such classes develop the ability to take on daily responsibilities,

because the plant may wither, the parrot without food will constantly remind itself, and the untidy bed will not allow you to invite friends. Adults should not take on these responsibilities when helping a child, but should teach them to be more independent. By the time a child enters first grade, they should have daily habits and responsibilities, such as putting on clothes, washing in the morning and brushing their teeth, and cleaning dirty dishes in the afternoon. In this mode, it will not be difficult to add to the usual rhythm of home life and school.

The first grader must be able and know how to:

  1. Prepare clean things for school and sports section, neatly fold and pack in a bag. Girls usually do better than boys. It is necessary to prepare the child for independence in this regard at least a year before school. If the child does not yet know how to read and the list does not help him, you can draw a articaler with tips. Even if the baby has forgotten something, it does not need to be corrected, the next time he will remember this thing and will not leave it at home.
  2. If parents are sure that the child will still forget something at home, you can check the contents of the school bag together.
  3. The child needs to know where his school clothes and shoes are, to assess whether they are clean or dirty. If stains are found on the clothes, the baby should understand that this thing should be replaced with clean and washed, take dirty clothes for washing.
  4. Correctly calculate your time for meetings in front of the school and the road. This is a very important skill and its rapid development indicates the success of the child.
  5. Find out which days and which classes or clubs you need to attend. To do this, the child must have a personal calendar; you can mark important events with different colors and inscriptions.

If such skills have not been formed before the start of training, you need to catch up with them in 1st grade.

Reason 5 - The child does not know how to properly allocate their time to perform "homework"

 How to do homework without stress?

To perform "homework" a first-grader must have a special time. It is desirable that the child has a certain daily routine, so it is much easier to perform all tasks. A student may even develop a certain reflex, when after completing some tasks he is ready to move on to such work. If your child is "rhythmic", and about 85% of them, no problems will arise. For the rest of the children, who are rhythmic and chaotic, no schedules or schedules will help, such a child can be recognized in early childhood.

After school, the child should be given an "hour of rest", and only then begin to perform tasks.

To make it clearer to the child what a schedule is, parents can show by their own example and records how necessary and useful it is. Next, you can make a schedule for the child and emphasize that adherence to the schedule is a sign of adulthood.

One of the most painful topics of our time is the performance of "homework", which lasted for several hours. This means that parents have not been able to impose simple rules on their child that will help them.

It is also important to remember that a child aged 6-7 does not perceive time in the same way as adults. That is, the baby cannot confidently estimate exactly how much time has passed.

Practice has shown that the more time a child spends on homework, the worse the result.

For each age there are time limits for homework.

  • 1st grade - from 40 to 60 minutes;
  • 2nd grade - from 60 to 90 minutes;
  • 3-4 classes - up to 2 hours;
  • Children who have moved to grades 5-6 should not sit for more than 2-3 hours.

But more than 3.5 hours should not be spent on "homework".It is important to help the child feel the time; this task is also entirely on the shoulders of parents. If a student spends too much time doing homework, he is simply not taught to use it properly. It is optimal for a first-grader to spend 20-25 minutes on homework. In this case, the preparation can take no more than 15 minutes. For children who get tired quickly, the time frame may be even shorter.

But if parents put their children in the classroom for longer than necessary - it's a waste of time, both their own and the child's. You do not need to help with the implementation of the "homework", but with the settings of "time management" is still worth it.

There are various ways that can help teach a child to feel the time correctly, the most effective are timers:

  • Hourglass, but if the child is prone to "flying in the clouds", he can see how the sand pours and lose countdown.
  • Clocks and other electronic devices that will beep over a period of time.
  • Sports watches that can be programmed to turn on a timer or stopwatch.
  • Kitchen timers.
  • Enable recording of a school bell on a dictaphone or telephone.

The homework process should have a clear outline. It is worth starting work on the lessons that are given to the child easier. Written tasks are best done at the beginning, oral - at the end. Note that you need to start with easier tasks. If you notice that the child is tired - take a break.

To improve the child's activity, you can use the technique of changing activities. That is, the student, while doing homework, can have breaks during which you can run around the house, make a small snack, drink juice, run around the big room several times, jump - you need to be distracted, then you can return to work.

The child must have a certain workplace, and it is definitely not in the kitchen next to mom. The student must be able to keep their workplace clean. Proper ecology and cleanliness are very important for a child. There should also be places to sleep, for toys. This child can be taught from the age of 4.

It should be advantageous for the student to do his homework on time. If the child finishes his work on time, it is worth agreeing with him on reading books together, walking, drawing, going to the movies, playing - to be interested in quickly and efficiently finish everything.

It is desirable to take time to work with homework in daylight. The child comes from school, has time for rest and lunch, does "homework" and then can go to extra classes or clubs. You need to cultivate the habit of doing it quickly and efficiently. Do not stretch for the whole day.

As practice shows, the usual time frame for certain tasks, a well-formed agenda and good results work perfectly. The child does not have the habit of stretching all the work for the whole day, when the first part is occupied by school, and all the rest - homework. It is important that the student's life does not end with coming to school, the child should have time for other things.

The positive consequences of timely performance of "homework" should be alternated, ie one day walk, the second - reading a book, the third - listening to a fairy tale or watching a movie, etc. The children's schedule of the day should have at the beginning - classes and homework, then free time - the child's personal life, not related to school.

Reason - 6 Homework becomes hard labor

How to teach a child to do "homework" with enthusiasm?

What is homework? Is it training, or consolidation of the studied material, which was passed at school, or the usual continuation of the lesson, but at home and with parents?

From a psychological point of view, it is a training of acquired skills. That is, they tried to do something at school, repeated and trained at home. If the child is doing well, then homework should be something like that, after which it is time for personal life. The child should not do this with special enthusiasm, unless it is a potential excellence. Homework should be a minor step in the agenda, after the successful completion of which will come freedom. It is necessary to prevent the formation of another stereotype, when life after school turns into a routine performance of "homework" until late in the evening, which is accompanied by tears and quarrels.

It is not necessary to add to the child tasks in addition, to duplicate those tasks which were executed badly. Tasks should be as short as possible, after which the student will not have the desire to throw away notebooks with books. Also, do not allow the child to become exhausted. All "pere-" are much more dangerous for the child's psyche than "nedo-".

Elementary school students are able to sit in one place and do some work for 15-20 minutes. It is important to develop the skill so that the child has time to do homework during this time. If the child spends more time, and a strict mother watches over her, does not allow her to take a break and puts her back at work - this turns into stress for the student and has an extremely negative impact. The task of parents is not to torture the child, but to form an understanding that something has been missed somewhere.

If the child already has experience with a limited time frame, he could gather or engage in a certain activity, which is limited in time - this is a good basis for the formation of the desired skill.

It is worth starting to teach a child to adhere to certain time limits should be in preschool age. If a student first learns about the time frame only when coming to school - this can be a huge problem.

If homework is not set at school on certain days of the week, parents can ask their children to complete a small amount of homework over a period of time to develop and consolidate the skills they need.

Parents should not be overly curious or constantly monitor the work of the student. Usually, mothers and grandmothers are extremely concerned about the success of the child, and the reaction to mistakes can be extremely violent. The mistake can be corrected, but the relationship in the family will deteriorate. It is worth adjusting to the fact that there will still be mistakes, but over time there will be fewer and fewer. Everything cannot and absolutely should not be absolutely perfect. Precisely the fact that the first grade is not yet graded, gives the opportunity to work on mistakes and reach the desired level.

The habit of second-graders to do homework is more or less formed, and joining the assessment of knowledge will help to put everything in place. Allow the child to make mistakes - sky-high hopes that everything from the first day will be "excellent" should be restrained.

It is important for the child to know that his efforts were not in vain, so praise your child more often. It is worth noting that it is not the result or the child himself, who needs to be praised, but rather his efforts, desire to perform the set tasks independently. It is worth not focusing on a good result,  and on the work done and the efforts made by the child to do so. The child does not respond to criticism, as an adult, and perceives it as a blow. After all, the work was done, though not perfectly.

It is very good if the teacher is also able to assess not only the end result, but also the efforts made. But, unfortunately, most educators focus on success, and criticism is considered a great impetus for self-improvement.

Reason - 7 Problems with learning a foreign language, the need to help parents and the requirement to do everything perfectly

Situations that deserve special attention

  1. Learning a foreign language immediately from the 1st grade.

When choosing a future school, you should pay attention to when you start teaching English there. After all, in the first year of study it is quite difficult to learn two languages, two versions of writing and grammar at the same time. Therefore, it is better to start learning a foreign language a year before school. It is worth noting that homework will have to do with the child, you can ask for help from a teacher or tutor. If one of the parents is ready to take on the role of tutor, it is important not to overdo it, so as not to discourage the child's desire to do more. But you don't have to be a teacher either.

  1. Is there a need to help a child if they ask too much at school?

To begin with, it is necessary to understand the current situation. In general, parents do not need to overly monitor the amount of homework. A student can have too many tasks only if he was sent to a strong school and the child does not cope with such loads. Then ask for help from the teacher, agree on additional classes. It is worth explaining to the child that if he does not understand something, you should always ask the teacher to explain the information again. But if such a situation is observed systematically, it is necessary to understand and find out whether it is the teacher's fault or just a child behaving inattentively during the lesson.

  1. First-graders do not yet know how to read well, so they do not understand the tasks

It is necessary to explain to the child that first he must read the task himself and only then one of the adults. But such an order of things is allowed only in the 1st grade, for the 2nd it is impossible to do so. Parents can write down tasks only during the period when the child is not yet able to write well. Then these responsibilities are completely transferred to the student.

  1. The child makes many mistakes when doing "homework", and teachers demand perfect execution

If the teacher is given only perfectly completed tasks, he will never understand that the child is missing somewhere. It all depends on the adequacy of the teacher. If the teacher responds normally to such things, it is worth explaining that you are raising the child's skills of independence. If the teacher does not make contact on this issue, next time do the task first in the draft, underline the letters that were written best and let the child focus on them when transferred to the cleaner. But if the child does not want and is ready to make a mistake, it is his right - do not force.

If the teacher adequately responds to the "homework" with errors - rejoice. But if the child has poor performance in all subjects, you should seek the help of a teacher and arrange additional classes.

Parents must support, care for and accept the child as he or she is. The teacher's task is to demand, control and react strictly to all the actions of students. If the mother will adopt the traits of a teacher, the student will perceive it as an insult, not as a correction.

Reason -  8 The need to teach a child to learn in primary school

There are three main factors that affect a student's success in primary school. The main task of the child during this period is to learn to learn properly. The student must understand his role in school, as well as take responsibility for the work done.

  • A wonderful first teacher is a real find, almost a jackpot. The child develops a perception of the authority of the teacher. At some point, the student may even perceive the authority of the teacher above the parent, and it helps a lot in the learning process. But it happens that the teacher by certain actions causes negativity, rudely treats students, singles out favorites among children, unfairly evaluates, it is necessary to explain it to the child in time so as not to violate the importance of the teacher's influence.
  • To properly raise a child and prepare for school, use your own memories. It is useful to tell the child about your first grade, maybe even find old notebooks and show them. It is important to ask the child what unusual and exciting thing happened to him that day, or to his friends. Parents should show their interest not only in the learning process, but also in other aspects of a first-grader's life. For example, you can tell interesting school stories from your own life or someone from your family. Be careful with negative mentions or bad experiences, so as not to form a false impression. But the school should not be idealized.
  • It is important to establish good relationships with classmates. Nowadays, children often live far from school, their parents bring and pick them up themselves, so classmates do not have the opportunity to contact each other. It is useful for parents to get acquainted with other parents in the class, spend leisure time together and even visit. Take these tips into account and help your child form the right stereotype about school and school life, leisure. Try not to spoil the relationship with the student and teach the child, if not to love school, to treat it as a mandatory part of life. Be a parent, not a teacher, because you have too many responsibilities anyway.

If these problems have already occurred in your family, you should try to solve them as soon as possible, and not run.